This week marks the end of my maternity and although I am sorry to come to the end of this time off with both my elder daughter and the new baby, I am also glad to get back into a role other than that of wife and mother. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and strive hard to look after them to the best of my ability but I need a break from the endless school run/nappy change/food shopping/nappy change/school run cycle. I need to feel that I am useful for tasks other than wiping snotty noses.
I am also in desperate need of adult conversation.
Conversations with my hubby (who is an adult - most of the time) consist of him telling me about his meeting with high rollers from head office, implimenting new stategies for dealing with complaints and bringing new people onto his team. My side of the conversation consists of the BOGOF offers in Tesco and the size, shape and colour of the contents of the baby's nappy today.
I have begun to loose my identity as a person.
It began when I started refering to myself in the third person. I have become a fantastical creature capable of dealing with any problem, righting any wrong. No matter how tricky, fearsome or gag-worthy the mess is 'Mummy will fix it.' It is as if I no longer have a given name nor wants and desires of my own. I have given over everything that I am to the three most important people in my life and the time has come to claw back a little of the old me.
Therefore, with only a little trepidation, I am lookng forward to returning to work.
